A lot of things have happened since we came home. So far, none has been good, so I did not feel the need to relate in my blog. I really need a semester off....I am so tired, and feel used up. Stress is coming at me in large portions, and I do not understand how people here can function with their frame of mind.
I really hate (yes absolutely hate) the way that people here see death. They see it so casually. The other day, in class, a girl stood up in class and used her father's death as an example in developmental stages. Her father died last week. She told us so casually and with no emotion what so ever, that it shocked me. I felt that if I showed her any sign of sympathy, I would be laughed at because they are not afraid of laughing at people.
I remembered almost the same thing happened to me when I had Typhoid Fever. I was absent from school for 2 weeks, and on the borderline death. When I told my classmates that I was in the hospital, and almost died, it was like I just told them that I like to eat cake.
When I was first told, that the only deaths that are excused from school are your mother, father, sister or brother, I just could not believe it. But I can definitely believe it now. I am not sure if it’s the thought that your loved ones are in heaven that overwhelms them so much to cause them not to care. Or that death happens so often here, that people are starting not to care.
If I ever felt so alone before, it is nothing compared to how I feel now. I just want this whole deal to be over with because it seems that I am missing out on a whole lot.
I miss her and I couldn't even hold her one last time...
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