I've seen way better days

I have to admit, Im starting to hit a depression spill again. Must be my time of month. A combination of hormones, thunder storms and a series of unfortunate events. I am depressed that I am having a hard time finding a job, and it's hard for most people to have sympathy. I might have only been looking for 1.5 months, but they have been looking for a year.

I am wondering if this delay in my life is some sort of sign that I need to wait for better things. Or...there is just no such thing as fate, and everyone is right...the economy has failed.

On the bright side, I am still in awe that I am finally home. Living in the Philippines was so surreal, and now it's over.

At this point in my life, I am not sure what I want. I still have dreams of becoming a vet and curing cancer through the use of saving God's creatures big and small...but it seems so far away now. And I am thinking that I may have to be a nurse afterall...for the rest of my life...

It seems only right that I cant be what I have truly always wanted. Why would I be one of the lucky ones? One of the lucky 10%? At the rate Im going, things that I want will just remain a dream, and I will remain what I have always hated...a follower. Following a plan someone else has written.